


A Beautiful Confession

by randomwriter57



Category: Free!
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Valentine's Day, shamelessly implied makoharu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 09:43:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomwriter57/pseuds/randomwriter57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei Ryugazaki had never been in a romantic relationship, or had romantic feelings for anyone. Then he met Nagisa Hazuki, and now he wants to make a beautiful Valentine's confession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Beautiful Confession

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Free! fic, so go easy on me, please!  
> It's set in the February of Rei and Nagisa's first year at Iwatobi, on the week of Valentine's Day. When the characters speak they use Japanese honorifics, which I have included as part of the plot.  
> Happy Valentine's Day!

Rei Ryugazaki had never been in a romantic relationship. He'd never been close enough to anyone to have the chance to partake in such a relationship. He'd never really minded, anyway. He tended to focus more on his academic studies and physical health than his social life, and he preferred living that way. It was simpler, in his opinion.

He did, however, have strong feelings towards the beauty of love. Watching two people gaze into each other's eyes with bouts of warmth and adoration was one thing he considered to be truly beautiful. He just had to accept that he'd have to wait a while before he ever experienced it himself.

Then he met Nagisa Hazuki, and everything changed.

Suddenly he was part of a relationship, a group of friends with whom he had a _connection_. Suddenly, he found himself accompanied by a short blond head, one which he found himself missing when it wasn't there. It gave him a peculiar feeling, one that he couldn't describe but did not find at all annoying - in fact, he felt better with it, _happier_ than he had ever been before then. He _liked_ it.

He barely even noticed these new emotions evolving until the week of Valentine’s Day.

It was Monday, and Rei was on the train home. As usual, Nagisa sat beside him, too tired from the long day to keep up a conversation. Rei didn’t mind the quiet around them, happy to think about other things whilst still being in the presence of his friend. It was nice to be in his company, even if they were silent.

It was only when he felt the familiar pressure of Nagisa’s head falling onto his shoulder as the blond fell asleep that he turned to face his companion, and that’s when it hit him.

Nagisa’s hair fell into his closed eyes, his face relaxed and a small drip of drool forming on the corner of his mouth. There was no space between the pair, the warmth of their bodies pressed flush together effectively blocking out the winter chill. His breathing had become slow and steady, in contrast to Rei’s, which had stopped completely. The dull zoom of the train and the mindless chatter of the other passengers faded away, until all Rei could hear were Nagisa’s steady breaths and his own woodpecker heart, knocking rapidly at his chest.

_What is this sensation?_ Logic would tell him that his parted lips, the warmth in his cheeks and the goosebumps forming on his arms - despite his many layers of clothes – were a sign of _awe_ or _desire_. However, his mind was a blank piece of paper, and any thoughts were written in invisible ink – that is, they were unclear and useless without the necessary prompting that would make them make sense.

What a strange sensation this was, and an unfamiliar one too. Rei had no idea what to make of it.

It took a minute or so for him to come to his senses, realising it was rude to stare for as long as he had. When he did this, however, his thoughts felt like spaghetti bolognese in his brain – an unorganised mess. It took him almost the entire ride home to sort them out, which almost caused him to miss his station.

When he and Nagisa (who he’d awoken as the train reached their station) parted ways, Rei walked home with a sole thought left in his brain:

_I love Nagisa Hazuki._

~

On Tuesday, Rei decided to ask for help.

His inexperience in romantic affairs caused him to have no idea how to deal with his present situation, so after many hours of mental debates, he decided to ask Makoto for help.

Why Makoto, you ask? He knew already that Haruka would not give him a straight answer (which may have helped in swimming, but here it would just make him more confused), and he knew that Kou would ask why he was asking about such a thing (he wasn’t sure he could trust her not to tell someone). Asking Rin would be useless (how could anyone fall in love with someone so _temperamental_?), and he wasn’t stupid enough to ask Nagisa himself (Lord knows that would only make things worse). Makoto, he hoped, would not tell any of the others about his crush and would hopefully be able to offer some useful advice about what he should do.

He approached Makoto near the end of swimming practice, when Haruka and Nagisa were busy swimming, and Kou was helping measure their times. They sat on the bench in the changing rooms, droplets falling from their wet hair down their necks.

“What did you want to talk about, Rei?” Makoto asked with curious eyes.

Rei spent a moment or two wondering how to go about asking, before an idea struck him. “How do you feel about Haruka-senpai, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Makoto seemed genuinely surprised by the question. “Well, he’s my best friend, probably more than that, actually. Why-”

“No, I mean,” he waved his hands a little as he hesitated. “What are your emotions around him?”

Eight-shaped brows furrowed, and his mouth parted a little. He then closed his mouth, head moving back a little. “My emotions? Ah…” he hesitated, looking down uncertainly. “I’m not sure? I mean, I feel happy around him, I suppose. And, er…”

He looked out towards the pool, watching as Haruka dived in over Nagisa’s head – they must have been practising the exchange for the relay. His features then visibly relaxed, a fond smile forming on his face. Rei watched in anticipation of an answer.

“I don’t know,” Makoto continued. “We’ve formed a rhythm that we can both keep up with. We’re always going at the same pace as each other, neither one of us rushing forward or hanging back. I’m not sure I could have that kind of relationship with anyone else.”

_I doubt it,_ Rei thought, _I can’t imagine a Makoto without a Haruka, and with anyone else it would just seem wrong_. He did not voice these thoughts, instead allowing Makoto to go on.

“Also, being in his presence is calming,” he chuckled, as though remembering a conversation or interaction that had happened between them. “I feel like I can be free with him. We understand each other so well, we’d know if either one of us was acting differently. It would be obvious, even if no one else noticed.” He suddenly stiffened, a dusting of pink colouring his cheeks. Was he embarrassed? “Ah, please don’t tell anyone any of this, Rei. That was all so cheesy; I’d probably die of embarrassment if anyone knew!”

Well that confirmed his suspicion. Rei let the corners of his mouth quirk up. “Of course, Makoto-senpai. Don’t worry, I’ll take it to the grave.”

“Thank you,” Makoto sighed in relief, relaxing once more. “By the way, why were you asking, anyway?”

It took a moment for Rei to find an answer, wondering if he should lie or if he should tell the truth. It’s not like lying would do him any good, and Makoto _had_ just told him his secret feelings about being around Haruka, so it would only be polite to oblige. He looked out at the pool, spotting Nagisa as he laughed with Kou, taking the towel that was handed to him. He took a deep breath and made eye contact with his upperclassman.

“I have feelings for Nagisa-kun.”

The bigger male’s surprise lasted only a few seconds, as the next thing he knew, he was smiling knowingly. “I was wondering when you’d figure it out. I was starting to wonder if you’d never notice!”

Rei straightened his back, tilting his head slightly and wearing an expression to match his thoughts: _What is that supposed to mean?_

Makoto seemed to notice and elaborated for him. “It’s been obvious for months that you like him – I think only you and Nagisa were the ones left out of the loop.”

Rei was surprised by this. Was his affection obvious even before he’d realised it? Perhaps his gazes at Nagisa were more affectionate than he’d thought.

“It’s not a bad thing though, it happens to a lot of people,” Makoto smiled gently, as though apologising for Rei’s obliviousness.

_Yeah, like you and Haruka,_ Rei commented inwardly, whilst his outward person merely nodded in acceptance.

The pair then stood, realising they’d been absent from practice for far too long. Makoto clapped him on the shoulder, wishing him luck before returning to the pool.

Rei stood for a moment, reflecting on their discussion. Makoto had seemed happy enough for him, so did that mean he had his approval? He supposed so, if his affections had been _that_ obvious from the start.

Despite not having much idea on how to approach Nagisa with his romantic intentions, Rei had at least learnt something from the discussion: he wasn’t quite as perceptive as he had thought with his emotions.

~

At five o'clock on Friday night, after swimming for an hour, it was finally time to put his plan into action. He had done the research, found the best place and time, and had even written a script of how to confess to Nagisa. On Thursday he'd bought a gift for Nagisa (seeing as how it was Valentine's Day, it seemed appropriate) and had made sure to pocket it that morning - forgetting it would completely screw up his plans. Everything was perfect. Now all he had to do was make a beautiful confession.

He barely listened to the idle chatter beside him as he and Nagisa walked to the train station. He nodded and hummed at Nagisa's words to make it seem as though he was listening, but his mind was elsewhere, making last-minute mental preparations for his confession.

After a ten minute walk, they reached the empty station. Rei put down his bag, facing Nagisa. "I need to ask you something," he said, pushing up his glasses.

Nagisa looked a tad surprised, but seconds later he relaxed. "Okay, what's up?" His pink eyes were bright, sparkling with curiosity. Rei barely remembered his plan.

_Here goes nothing_.

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth before remembering something important - the gift. A little embarrassed, he asked Nagisa to wait a moment before reaching into his pocket, looking for the box.

When he only found his mobile phone he panicked, frantically checking his other pockets, but to no avail. He was sure he had definitely put it in his pocket that morning, and he couldn’t have lost it at school – could he? Had it possibly fallen out of his pocket at swimming practice?

Perhaps he had put it in his bag before practice? He bent down on one knee, pulling his rucksack in front of him and frantically searching for the black box. He couldn't have lost it, not at a time like this!

His palms were growing sweaty, shaking from the nerves which overwhelmed him. He could feel Nagisa's eyes boring into his back, wondering what he was looking for. What would he do if he couldn't find it? The older boy would probably laugh at him, call him "forgetful"; Rei could not let this happen. He needed this to go smoothly, he couldn't mess this up.

Finally he found the box in one of the front pockets of the bag, sitting innocently along with his keys and wallet. With a sigh of relief, Rei took the box out of the bag and closed the compartment, putting the bag behind him. He heard a scoff. He looked up.

Nagisa looked radiant in the evening twilight, the sun providing his soft blond curls with a golden glow. He had one arm wrapped around his middle, the other lifted so his hand concealed his mouth. His pinkish eyes were looking away from him, a hint of humour illuminating them. Just as Rei paused to wonder what was going on, Nagisa looked over to him before breaking into fits of laughter.

As much as Rei loved Nagisa's laugh - especially how the blond never held back when he  found something funny - knowing that the laugh was directed at him didn't make him feel any better; in fact, it just made his nerves grow and added a hint of embarrassment to the mix. He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt tight, before weakly asking what was so funny.

Nagisa calmed himself and took the hand away from his mouth before looking down at Rei's legs and promptly bursting into laughter once more. Rei asked once again what the blond was laughing at.

His body still shaking a little from his badly compressed laughter, Nagisa answered. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan, I just- you look like you're proposing or something!"

Rei's eyes widened and he looked down at himself, finally realising his position: if his kneeling down on one knee wasn't misleading enough, the ring box in his hand just made everything all the more embarrassing. Turning pink, he stood up, losing his balance slightly but regaining it quickly. Falling over would just make things even worse than they already were. Nagisa was still laughing, both arms wrapped around his middle and his eyes closed tightly. Surely it hadn't been that funny, right?

Embarrassment merged in with the nerves and confusion already filling Rei's head, causing a cacophony of emotions to overwhelm him. He could barely think past his embarrassment coupled with the betraying thoughts of how beautiful this boy looked at that time, even as he laughed at his shame. He tried to think of the plan, but couldn't remember what came next. All he could think of was pressing his lips to Nagisa's, how warm and soft they looked, even when stretched out to reveal his teeth.

His heart felt as though he had just swam four relays on his own. He barely even noticed the box falling out of his sweaty hand, which he had the good sense to wipe on his trousers before taking a now surprised Nagisa's face in his hands and kissing him.

He wasn't sure whether it was down to his mind's urging desires or his want for the blond to stop laughing at him, but even he was shocked at what he'd just done - probably more so than even Nagisa was. As soon as he realised what he'd done he pulled away, stepping back from the pink-faced boy. He immediately regretted his actions, knowing he'd messed up his entire plan, and knowing he'd probably messed up his relationship with Nagisa. He took another step back, trying to stutter out an apology but knowing his words made no sense. He took a third step, but tripped over his abandoned bag, falling back onto the ground.

The loose gravel piercing into his palms and the ache in his back were nothing compared to the metaphorical knife which was driven into his heart when he saw Nagisa looking down at him, back shaking from fighting laughter. It was then that he knew he'd failed miserably.

He tried to compose himself, forcefully pushing his glasses up from their slanted position before standing. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he ran away, even more ashamed now that he was fleeing. He heard Nagisa cry out after him but did not look back. He couldn't look back, especially now that he'd failed himself.

He felt even more ashamed at his selfish thoughts, all of which were focussed on the feeling of Nagisa's lips on his.

~

It was Saturday, not that it made much difference to Rei what day of the week it was. In fact, the only good thing about today was that he didn't have to go to school and face Nagisa. Just thinking about last night made Rei feel queasy, and he absolutely dreaded having to see the blond on Monday. It wasn't that he didn't like him anymore - he couldn't exactly change his feelings overnight - but that he was afraid of how he would react. Would he bring it up, or would he avoid the subject? That having been said, Rei wasn't even sure that Nagisa would want to talk to him after the shame of last night.

He tried not to think about it, busying himself with homework (which he was sure he'd failed at least half of) and cleaning (though his pristine apartment hardly needed any). It was hard though, especially with the pictures he'd decorated his notice board with, a couple being of the swim team and one being a strip from a photo booth when he and Nagisa were out one day. There were little reminders of Nagisa everywhere - from the speedo in his drawer (which he hadn’t given back yet, for whatever reason) to the food in his fridge (which had been adapted to fit the tastes of both himself and Nagisa, since the latter was round so often), almost everything he looked at reminded him in some way of Nagisa. He couldn’t even lie down and relax without some thought about Nagisa invading his mind, bringing him out of peace and forcing him to try to find something to do, which brought him back to having nothing to do.

He was contemplating texting Makoto for advice when the doorbell rang. _That's odd_ , he thought as he headed to the door. _I wonder who could be here at this time in the afternoon._ He opened the door, looking out to find-

"Nagisa-kun?"

Nagisa smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and looking up at him through his fringe. He looked a little nervous, but Rei discarded the thought. Nagisa wasn't the type to get nervous about things, was he?

"Hey, Rei-chan," he greeted. "Can I come in?"

It took a few moments for Rei to process the request and move back, allowing Nagisa to enter his small home. He closed the door and turned to his guest. "Would you like any refreshments, or...?" He was surprised he could get the sentence out at all.

Nagisa shook his head, declining the offer before taking a seat at the coffee table, like he usually did. However, he wasn't as relaxed as usual: his shoulders were tense and he kept clenching his hands. It seemed odd to see the blond in such a state.

Rei sat down across from him and waited for something to happen. The silence between them was foreign, unwelcome. He couldn't think of a word to say and it was obvious from the way Nagisa averted his eyes from him that he too was speechless. The tension in the air was horribly dense – he felt like he was drowning in it.

When words were finally spoken, they were in unison.

"Nagisa-kun, I-"

"Rei-chan, I-"

They both stopped, staring at each other in surprise. Rei spoke next. "Sorry, you go first."

Nagisa gave a small smile before saying, "I'm sorry for laughing at you yesterday."

To be honest, Rei had not expected an apology - or at least, not for the laughing, he hadn’t. His surprise must have been noticeable, so Nagisa went on.

"I shouldn't have laughed when you fell over, but you did look kinda funny-"

"If you're just here to patronise me then I'd rather you just-" Rei began tiredly, but was interrupted.

"No, no!" Nagisa cried, eyes wide. He shrunk down, his eyes going back to his hands. "I'm sorry, I just..." He trailed off, letting the room fall back into the uncomfortable silence.

When the silence was finally broken, it was by the rustle of Nagisa's pocket as he pulled something out, cradling it in his hands before sliding it over the table to Rei.

Time froze and Rei's heart sank. In front of him was the black box he had dropped before he kiss- _messed up his plans_ the night before. Seeing it in front of him now, presented to him by the one he'd wanted to give it to in the first place, was akin to a final judgement on the subject; it was, to him, a complete rejection of his feelings. His mind was blank. He felt like he was going to vomit.

Nagisa must have noticed Rei's reaction, as his next words could tell. "Rei," he said, voice more confident than it had been minutes before. The younger boy looked up, taking surprise in the determination illuminating his love interest's eyes. For once, the blond looked completely serious, his expression giving away nothing.

He was also surprised at the lack of suffix addressing his name - Nagisa always used suffixes with names, though it was usually _-chan_ rather than the usual _-kun_ or _-san_. Not using a suffix showed a high level of intimacy between two people. He can't have left it out on purpose, right? Then again, he would have fixed it by now if he hadn't meant it.

Rei shook away the thoughts.

"I want you to try again," Nagisa finished with an oddly cheerful smile.

Rei furrowed his brows in confusion. Then he noticed the clues: the returned box, the lack of a suffix, and now the odd request of "trying again" - was it possible that he meant-

His thoughts were interrupted. "You probably planned it out really thoroughly. Even something like this, you'd probably want to make it perfect. But I messed it up for you by laughing at you, and I want you to try again."

So he _did_ mean the confession.

Rei was getting nervous again. He had thought it didn't matter anymore, that he'd messed up his chances completely, yet now he was being given another chance. He had to make it perfect.

He nodded, standing and moving away from the table before offering Nagisa a hand up. He then stood in front of the blond at a comfortable distance. He was ready.

Then he remembered something he kept forgetting – the gift. It was almost as though he felt he couldn't confess without the gift in his hands, so of course he quickly picked it up from the table and stood back.in position. _Now_ he was ready.

"Nagisa Hazuki," he began after clearing his throat. "I must confess that when we first met, I found you rather annoying and was irritated by your persistence in trying to make me join the swim club. I was perfectly happy on the track team, and hadn't wanted to admit my lack of swimming abilities.

"However, as you helped me through my hindrances and we became friends, you became much less annoying to me. You grew on me, Nagisa.

"Not too long ago, I encountered some peculiar emotions, particularly when I was around you. After some searching, I found the answer-"

"Rei-chan, can you get to the point, please?" Nagisa asked, an impatient expression on his face.

Rei complied. "My point is this: Nagisa Hazuki, I possess romantic feelings towards you and would be honoured if you would go on a date with me." He finished confidently, bowing as manners dictated and holding the box out to Nagisa. He felt relieved that his speech had gone so well. All that was left was Nagisa's answer.

What he had not anticipated was silence. The quiet loomed over him, at first nought more than a simple delay in reaction. Once it hit one minute, however, he began to get paranoid. Perhaps he should not have included the part about Nagisa being annoying? Rei was one to believe that romantic interests should be able to trust each other and know exactly how they feel about each other, but maybe he'd gone a little too far with his words. He denied all prospect of a rejection - why would Nagisa ask him to confess again if he was only going to decline? It was preposterous, and obviously completely against Rei's logic. Then again, Nagisa did seem to run by logic of a different kind.

After a few minutes he looked up, straightening his back so as not to hurt it. He wasn't sure how to feel about what he saw.

Nagisa looked as beautiful as ever, his curls bobbing around his head as his back shook. He had a hand clasped over his mouth, the other wrapped around his waist and his eyes were tightly shut. Muffled sounds were coming from his mouth. Rei couldn't tell what was going on.

"Nagisa...?"

He promptly burst out laughing. Again.

_That's it, I've messed up again._ Colour flooded his cheeks. Perhaps he had miscalculated his chances of success.

When Nagisa was able talk again, his words were broken between gasps of laughter. "Rei that was ridiculous-"

_Oh dear God._

"-And so cheesy-"

He knew he shouldn't have made it so long - concise and to the point had been what he was aiming for, but his constant nattering must have annoyed the blond-

"-but it was beautiful." Nagisa had calmed down by this point, looking Rei straight in the eyes with an expression of amusement and endearment.

Rei was taken aback. "Wait, really?" He hadn't expected this reaction.

"Of course!" He laughed, the same laugh which melted Rei's heart and made him smile like a love-struck fool - but then again, that's what he was.

He looked down, a soppy smile controlling his face. He could barely take the happiness he received from this.

It was when he looked down that he noticed the box and his heart clenched. Did he need to give it to Nagisa? He was worried his gift may be sub-standard, but it was too late. By following his eyes, Nagisa had noticed it. "What's in the box, anyway?" The blond asked curiously.

Rei looked back up before slowly handing his friend - boyfriend? - the box. "For you."

He watched as Nagisa's eyes widened upon opening the box. Inside laid two necklaces, a silver penguin and a silver butterfly, side by side on the cushion. The awe and joy that filled Nagisa's face when he saw it sent warmth to Rei's heart - he liked it.

"This is..."

"I got two because it's as though I'm giving you a piece of my heart, in return for a piece of yours." Rei elaborated, inwardly proud of his choice of symbolism.

Nagisa gave a chuckle. "So cheesy."

By now, Rei had come to terms with the fact that he was a very sentimental person in love.

"Thank you," the blond grinned before pulling the penguin necklace out of the box. "I’ll put yours on for you, and you can do the same for me!"

Before Rei had a chance to agree, the smaller boy was on his tiptoes, arms wrapped around the taller boy's neck as he expertly latched the necklace into position. The warmth between them increased Rei’s heart rate, but it was soon replaced once more by the cool air. The light hit the accessory when Nagisa stepped back, making it shine against Rei's collarbone. It was beautiful.

Nagisa then turned around, prompting for Rei to put his necklace on. With shaking hands, he took the necklace from the now empty box and circled it around the neck before him. He had more trouble with the latch, mostly due to the uniform shortness of his nails and the fine hoops he had to aim for. Smaller hands soon covered his, realising his troubles, and helped to latch the necklace together. Nagisa then turned back around, the butterfly flying through the air with him, glittering in the light. He grinned. It was beautiful.

In some strange fashion, it was then that they could clearly see exactly what the other was thinking, and Rei began to understand Makoto's earlier words about Haruka. For once, they had the exact same thought in unison, and could see it written on each other’s faces:

_I want to kiss him._

By no means was their kiss an expert one. Despite Rei's assurances that he had perfected the theory of kissing, their lips moved clumsily against each other, both sets too eager to think about taking things more slowly. However, when they parted with panting breaths, neither found that they regretted their first kiss. In fact, they both thought the imperfection of it was beautiful, which led them on to a second kiss, a third, and many more imperfect but beautiful kisses.


End file.
